He Swallowed Those Words
by alixxblack
Summary: Nothing is reliable in Haymitch's life except Effie Trinket. Now that Katniss & Peeta bring the rebellious thoughts out in Haymitch, what does it do to his thoughts on Effie? Somewhat dark and fluffy. T for THG's mildly violent nature. One shot.


**Disclaimer: You know the game, THE HUNGER GAMES, this isn't my material to profit from or distribute as an original work. I don't own the characters or even the thought of Haymitch & Effie. I've written this for the fun of it and for the enjoyment of others. Thank you for not suing me in advance.**

**Note: This is another one of my tumblr transfers. It got some good attention over there and found that it might get even more over here. Hope you enjoy it!  
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**He Swallowed Those Words: A Hayffie Fanfic **

Haymitch thrashed in his sleep the first night on the train. Those tributes, Peeta and Katniss, demanded his sobriety. He willing gave it. He had a gut feeling about these two. There was a fight in both of them, a certain defiance that could only be matched by…well…him. Haymitch had been hearing whispers lately of a rebellion. Every so often such a thing would occur. The only difference with this wave a whispers is that he had found the perfect faces for the rebellion, the perfect couple to pull at the heartstrings of the districts to remind them what it was like to fight for something.

His mind couldn't escape the dreams when he was sober, though. He jerked awake and found himself staring into the teary eyes of Effie Trinket. Haymitch diverted his eyes away from hers. She touched his kneecap tenderly and waited to see if he would talk to her about the sorrow he experienced. He frowned and frowned as he always did.

After he had defied the Capitol in his Games everyone he loved was murdered, they were taken from his life. It wasn't too long after he had won that a younger Effie Trinket gained the position as escort for District 12. She had been trying out for an escort position from the moment she turned eighteen but nobody wanted to take a chance on such a young girl. It wasn't long before they decided District 12 could use her unnecessarily excessive pep. She'd been stuck with them since she started.

At first Effie had tried to be kind to Haymitch and make friends with them. She was very different from the other escorts in the other districts, he noticed immediately. For years he resisted but shortly after he took up drinking leisurely Effie started to judge him aloud. At some point Haymitch threw china across the room and pointedly told her that she could never understand. That night was the first of several night to follow that she came into his room to stop the screaming.

Effie became the only happy constant in his life. There were three things he could rely on each year.

1. He would be training the tributes of District 12 to compete in the Hunger Games.

2. His tributes would be among the first ones to die.

3. Effie would be at his side until she died to make sure that he was getting along alright.

"I heard you while I was up getting some tea. I thought you could use a guardian." He'd grown accustom to seeing Effie with next to no make-up on. She was just as beautiful without it on, only now she looked more like someone that Haymitch could be with. It often made him forget of his first love. Sometimes he even believed that Effie was his second love, his true love. He relied on her in a way he'd never relied on anyone before.

"Uh-hmm." Haymitch grumbled. He put his head into his hands and tried to rub away the 'sleep' remaining in his eyes. It was painful most days to even live but he had to keep going. There was a cause that he was representing now. He couldn't tell Effie which was more difficult than being alive, believe it or not. The way her eyes filled with concern when he brushed her aside and poked fun at her. He wanted to let her know it wasn't because he disliked having her around, but rather that he wanted a better life for everyone in Panem. Maybe even a life that he could be with her. Those thoughts made him grumpy and somehow Effie always ended up being the victim of that hatred.

"I only wish to help Haymitch. For you, for those kids." She sounded very much like a loving mother. Haymitch wagered that neither Katniss nor Peeta had loving mothers. Effie would be so perfect for the role. Again, though, Haymitch realized these thoughts could never actually be expressed in the world they lived in and forced those happy things aside. Happiness wasn't an option, not right now.

"Thank you, Ms. Trinket, but I assure you I'm just fine." Effie tensed up as if she could read the discontent surfacing in him. It was shameful for him to let her read his body language but it was easier than talking sometimes. It was the cowardly way around things. Haymitch just didn't have to courage to speak to her on everything that came to mind. He thought he would be rejected. He thought she might be safer, too, if she hadn't a clue what his intentions were.

"I'm sorry to have bothered, Mr. Abernathy. I was worried is all." Just as she stood up Haymitch couldn't resist having her stay by his side. His hand shot up nervously and dependently at her. She spun to him with a smirk over her lips. She felt wanted and he could tell that much. Haymitch felt wanted when she was around too.

"Why don't you just hang around here, sweetheart? There's not a schedule to follow right now anyway." Effie inched back onto the bed and curled her body into Haymitch's side. It was comfortable for them even though there was a risk in them being so close together. Haymitch didn't care and mostly Effie didn't either. When they were under someone's watchful eye, though, they never ceased to act sarcastic and rude to one another.

"Have I ever told you how safe I feel with you, Haymitch?" She whispered. No, she hadn't ever told him but he wouldn't mind hearing. His grip around her tightened. His stomach churned with desirable pleasure.

"I can't say that you have. I'd love to hear it though." He placed his chin on the top of her head. She was smiling so bed, he could feel her cheeks stretch over the top of his shirt.

"You hear things in the Capitol. You hear things about President Snow and the deaths of those who work closely to him. I would be a fool to not say I'm afraid. When you're around, though, I feel safe. I feel like nobody can touch me." Haymitch's eyes began to water. He wished he could tell Effie how much she meant to him but she was so innocent. She was so precious. He didn't dare to jeopardize what little relationship they had. Instead he swallowed those words, I love you, and told her he wouldn't ever let that happen. He promised he'd do his best if there was ever a threat.

Only she couldn't know that the threat was ever growing.


End file.
